I love all who love me. Those who search will surely find me. (Proverbs 8:17 NLT) I was having one of those days. One of those days where I wish I could roll back over and go to bed.
I did not want to do anything. I was grumpy and it is not a day I want to talk to anyone.
But in my life, that is not an option. I had to get up. So, I got up at 5am, did my devotional, did my workout, had breakfast, kissed my kids and my (exceptionally understanding) wife and then I got on the train into the city.
Usually on the train, I study, I read or I work during the hour long commute.
This day, I stared out the window. Nothing profound to think about. I just did not want to engage with anything or anyone.
I got into the City Bible Forum office, bought a $1 coffee (all I can afford today) and it tasted like a 50 cent coffee. Everything and everyone seemed to irritate me. I put in the earbuds, checked email and got some work done or at least pretended to work.
What was running through my head?
'Am I supposed to be be doing ministry at all? What is God doing to me? I don't want to be here!' (Just being real)
You may not have these days, but the reality is, that is what ran through my head.
I went to City Bible Forum with one of my best friends. How do I know he is a friend? He put up with my incessant whinging (complaining) for the trip to the event.
We set up for the talk. All was going fine. I was able to put on the good game face. (That means faking it!)
What was the talk for the day?
How humility makes a difference by Dr John Dickson.
Great talk. Actually, it was too good. I needed to hear it, but I did not want to hear it.
During this incredible talk came the passage: For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” (Luke 18:9-14 NLT)
I wanted to crawl under the tables. If you look at the beginning of this update, the update is chock full of 'I's. I started the day thinking about me. The mirror of the passage in Luke was on me. I was gutted. I was at a loss to how to respond.
So, what did I do?
Got out of there. Once we were done tearing down the event, thanking john for the talk, I excused myself and escaped.
I went to get a haircut.
I was a fool.
The lady, Maria from Ireland, cutting my hair started chatting with me. Innocently about the day. I sat there thinking, 'Don't ask the question. Please do not ask the question. Yes, keep talking about your camera. Do not ask the question.'
She asked the question.
'So, what do you do?'
Ugh! I thought to myself, 'Not today, I am not on my game. I am not focused. Honestly, the last thing I wanted to talk about was God.' I know, shame on me, but the it is reality of the moment.
What did I do?
I told her what I do.
My job, my life is to talk to people about Jesus and the Bible. It's what I do.
I had one of the most significant conversations with someone about what it is to be a Christian. Comparing other belief systems, personal testimonies and I was able to lay out the Gospel from beginning to end. She did not take any other customers, but was engaged in the conversation. She took my information and thanked me for the time. (I ended up with a very short haircut, the more we talked, the more she cut. It was worth it.)
Guess what. I was thrilled and interestingly I was still grumpy. Yet, The Lord used me. Despite myself. He was glorified. Maria heard the Good News, even though I was in a jerky mood all day.
In the end, God gets all the credit. Nothing was of me today and that is how it should be.
You truly are incredible. Thanks Lord, I am a bit less grumpy now.
(As a 'just the other day' story. This is dedicated to a great friend and mentor. He encouraged me to pray for these things. He even put up with the lack of humility in recent correspondence with him. Thanks, mate. You are a blessing and an example of humility.)